I spent the last few days contemplating purchasing more silver. I'm feeling late to the game, only beginning my purchases after listening to King World News last March and learning from a London bullion trader how JP Morgan is manipulating the market. It seems reasonable, everything else seems manipulated. So I search the internet to decipher hidden clues of possible shortages. I found myself drawn into the conspiracy theories of mega banks and the Federal Reserves. They story line engulfs Governments from DC to China in an ever twisting plot of greed and manipulation. I waste hours watching a webcast of the CFTC hearings and silly buy silver crash JP Morgan video's on Max Keiser. I feel the tug to warn family and friends of the pending doom such shortages will surely unleash on world markets. I imagine that they'll be so thankful for my call which salvages their life savings from the looming threat and how admired I'll be when silver rockets past 30 dollars on it's way to the inevitable stratosphere making them a fortune. Surely all the pieces are falling into place. A corrupt banking cartel stealing the hard earned wealth of middle class Americans, with tentacles into Politicians pockets and captive regulators who turn a blind eye in the mind numbing monotony of government bureaucracy. All the frustrations and anger from a decade of up again, down again trading which surely should have reaped greater profits if not for the high frequency trading computers who's sole existence is to monitor my every trade and exploiting my positions at just the right time. Before I know it I'm logging into KITCO for another purchase to drive the nail into the vampires heart and save the world. When....that still small voice beckons from within me. Reminding me that greed fills the heart of all who desire to control their own destiny by obtaining the elusive power of wealth. God has warned us hundreds of times through out scripture that no one can serve two masters. He will love God or money, but not both. I think back to the story of the temptation of Christ in the desert and how he was enticed to meet his own needs in his own time, rather then surrender his will to God's plan. Whether that will bring joy, peace and happiness or sorrow, pain and despair. I fear that in my heart at this fateful hour I have allowed greed to take hold of me. Trying to cover my fear of the future with the power that timing the collapse of the financial system will bring. Fear has been a constant tormentor in my life. As I struggled with a family while going through school and starting my own business. It has at times inflicted depression and anxiety as my mind lapsed from the truth that perfect love casts out fear. Perfect love, does no harm, it always protects, always is patient, love never fails.
I stop to contemplate my actions. Am I acting in wisdom and positioning myself out of knowledge or am I surrendering to my weakness, my fear, my greed? Judging motives is always difficult, but judging your motives is impossible apart from God. I sense I am the beast and if i do not enter the sanctuary and sense Gods glory, then surely my feet will slip. Suddenly the peace which transforms all human understand surrounds me, and I realize it is peace that I seek. God's presents that I desire. His right arm that protects me. Tomorrow may bring difficulties or a continued desire to prepare for the for my needs, but today, at this moment I know GOD is all I need.
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